when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
