I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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