And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
