I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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