It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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