you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
