In the future we'll all be gay
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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