Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
