hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
