Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
