I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
