peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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