Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
