You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize