The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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