So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
