I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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