**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
