She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
