It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
