you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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