I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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