remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
