Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
