oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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