His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
