My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
