Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish my penis had a tongue
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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