So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
