She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
