Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My ass is underappreciated
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
