i will never coherently bang her
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize