I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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