I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
