I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
