If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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