I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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