BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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