So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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