never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
