I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
