Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
