saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
