porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
