I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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