i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
