You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
