I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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