Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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