Apparently you make a good broom.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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