i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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