Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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