Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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