I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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