i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
