My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
