ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
