if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
