Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
