just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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