i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize