My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize