Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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