4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
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