your room smells of hookers.
And success
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
